Diaz (soberloki) wrote in loki_wrote,

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5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them

I jumped on the bandwagon again. A shock, I know. Inspired by celandineb, and my own uncontrollable urge to promote pretty much any pairing involving a happy Snape. 327 words, G-rated, single-voice crack.

5 Reasons Snape Puts Up With Harry, or, Love Isn't One of Them
An interview with Rita Skeeter

You people ask the most intrusive questions. Why must you persist? Does it really matter, why I don't send him to live with Weasleys, or on his own?

Oh very well, Albus. Why I agreed to hang your bloody portrait in my home, I'll never know. Meddling old bugger, I'm sure it was actually Potter's idea.

I do not send Harry Potter away because he keeps the place in order. I know all of the standard housekeeping charms, but Tergeo and Scourgify are not the same thing as on-your-knees effort, are they?

I have yet to evict The Walking Bird's Nest for the simple reason that I am not used to a great deal of discussion. While he keeps house here, he also usually manages to deter fools who feel it necessary to track me down and pester me with questions, the answers to which are most assuredly none of their bloody business. Do not drip that vile pink excuse for ink on my furnishings, Skeeter.

I permit the annoying twit to inhabit my home because he's a reasonably good cook. His holiday meals are quite satisfactory, despite the company he insists on including. Weasleys. It's always Weasleys. And Granger. And that positively insufferable French bint who married one of the Weasleys. And their children...

I keep the Boy-Who-Lived about the place as a reminder that we are not who we believed ourselves to be when we were young. I am not a glory-seeking Dark Master. Potter is not a golden idol to be followed by the masses. Neither of us is the child who first set foot in the Great Hall of Hogwarts... and it is entirely possible that we never were.

Besides all that, I love the little green-eyed idiot, don't I? Dearest Merlin, I knew you'd drop your quill. Spell that ink out of my rug immediately, or I shall not be held responsible for what happens to you.

And Albus... do shut up.
Tags: ## things, albus dumbledore, arthur weasley, bill weasley, charlie weasley, ficlet, fleur delacoeur, fred weasley, george weasley, ginny weasley, harry potter, hermione granger, humor, inspired by, molly weasley, offspring: weasley, percy weasley, rated: g, rita skeeter, severus snape, ss::hp

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